Subhi Agrawal
A book about women’s sexual fantasies that shocked Gillian Andreson. The book, inspired by Nancy Friday’s 1973 classic My Secret Garden, compiles anonymous letters from women sharing their sexual fantasies. To her surprise, many women still struggle to express their desires, not only publicly but, “more shockingly, even in our private worlds.”
“I Got Really Uncomfortable”
Anderson says: “I kept putting it off and putting it off. I’m not a prude by any stretch and I can say any words out loud. But writing it down? I got really uncomfortable.”
Despite living in London for decades and raising her two sons here. For a long time, says Anderson, she was too uptight to let the humor and irreverence of her British sideshow. But as her 60s approach, she has very much entered what she calls the “fuck it, succeed or fail I’m going to have fun” years of her life, and we are all the better off for it.
The project was inspired by Anderson’s role as a sex therapist in Sex Education. For this book, Anderson sifted through thousands of anonymously submitted sex fantasies. Although it’s challenging to match the original My Secret Garden’s impact, which left lasting impressions with its candid depictions, Want explores how taboos have evolved since the 1970s. From its provocative opening to its more controversial elements, it highlights the ongoing difficulty many women face in discussing their desires openly, Anderson said “Lots of women still struggle to speak about these things, even among their friends, let alone with their partners.”
“The Book Contains a Lot Of Humor”
On the subject of straight women, there is a lot of this sort of thing: “My deep-seated fantasy, the one to which I touch myself after a warm cup of camomile and milk to bless my dreams, is for a man to be indelibly – and entirely ordinarily – nice to me. I would do anything to fuck my best friend’s brother.” OK! And this: “I long to be ravaged by a tall German man.”
The book contains a lot of humor like “I have a recurring sexual fantasy about a dentist.” Each chapter features Anderson’s essays, where she provides interpretation and encouragement. She reveals “At the very heart of all my own fantasies. I am the watcher, not the watched. Or sometimes I switch between watcher and participant, maybe in a subconscious nod to my daily life as an actor. In my fantasies, I am undoubtedly a director. The privacy of my own mind is the one place where I am truly in control of when, how, or even whether I am seen.”
Gillian Anderson is not only a renowned actress but also a celebrated sex symbol, known especially for her role as the alluring Dana Scully in The X-Files. As Anderson notes, being named the world’s sexiest woman by FHM in 1996 felt almost like the worship described in the fantasies. The idea behind featuring a high-profile celebrity is to inspire everyday women to embrace their fantasies. However, the book’s use of Anderson’s fame and the personal address “Dear Gillian” might shift the dynamics in a significant way.
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